Stupid fear

It's weird writing on this thing everyday, as I actually get to talk about things that happen in the moment. For example: right now I am in bed about to go to sleep, but can't because my hubby said he would be up here with me in a second. I know he is on his new kindle. I know that he had me disable parental controls and turn on the browser and hasn't had me turn it off. I know I can't live out of fear but I also can't sleep. 

Then I remembered my blog and that I hadn't posted yet today! It's the perfect place to talk out this fear. 

Two things that I need to recognize: first that I have the right to not be afraid that porn is going to be in my home. Second, that acting out of fear only breeds more fear. 

What are my options?

I can go downstairs and confront him.

I can sit upstairs until he finally comes up to bed and confront him.

I can take a sleeping pill to force myself to go to sleep and talk about it in the morning.

I can ignore it and wait to see what he does about it.

My bottom line is that I will not invest inmt husbands recovery, that his work is his work. I also have listed the right to feel safe from porn in my home. I think I will go down and have a talk about the dilemma I am having and hear his input. That way I stick to both my right and bottom line.