Side effect of being a WoPA: Memory Loss?

I was looking through the book today, and there is a place for you to write your story. Here's what it said:
"I had been dating this guy off and on and things were on the upswing, and were starting to get more serious. I had moved home because I felt I should, and because I had gotten out of a bad relationship from a different guy. It was pretty expected that when I moved back for school that I would start dating the first guy again. Then I met J. I guess I just like a project now and then. So I chose him over the first guy. I loved him too- I didn't just choose him because I felt like he was a project. We worked through issues, got married in the temple. A few months later, he relapsed. It was hell. I seriously considered leaving. Then I found out I was pregnant. That made me feel trapped. J has really stepped itup since then. Starting to go to group meetings and invited me to go to a spouse support group. It was the hardest thing but I did it. It has helped so much. Counseling has helped even more."

Then I read my (much longer) story that I wrote on this blog, here.

It had an interesting effect on me... I had forgotten a lot of the hell that I had gone through. I don't know why, I guess my mind sort of started blocking it out? I have no idea. When I look back at the time we were engaged, I don't remember much of the bad at all. I pretty much only remember the good. I feel like I have completely blocked out my entire first year of marriage, and I don't remember much of my pregnancy.

But then again, I don't sit and dwell on those times like I used to. During my pregnancy I would sit and just remember all the crap that I had gone through the previous year, and try and decide if it was worth it to try to do it alone if that was going to be how it was when I had a child. Then I got too busy with my son, school, and baby blues to try to think about that year anymore. 

And then I went to therapy/women's support group through the church, and I started the change my life from there on out...

Don't get me wrong, I still have flashbacks, a real life side-effect of being a WoPA- a characteristic that supports the theory that being a WoPA can trigger PTSD. These flashbacks usually hit me when I am least expecting it, and vary in degrees of realness. In fact, I had one last night when my hubby tried to cuddle me in bed. Flashbacks to the Hell of the first year of marriage can come crashing into my head, and I have to ask for some space, and do some mega recovery work like praying, mindfulness, and reaching out. It's awesome.

But when people ask how Jase and I met, or anything about the engagement, or how our first year of marriage went, I really can only give blanket statements like "The first year was really hard" or "Our engagement brought me closer to the savior and I became a better person during that time." If anyone (heaven forbid) ever asks for a specific story from that time period, though, I can only think of a few short memories:

Engagement: We created an elaborate game to play on my husbands competitiveness to keep us reading scriptures and getting us to the temple for a temple marriage. 

He asked me if I would be able to match his sex drive, and I was determined to be equal to the task

My dad said that if I "wasn't stingy" that the addiction would go away.

The engagement itself was low-key, and J was pretty grumpy because he thought I knew it was coming

Losing contact with everyone except my family, and not even all of my family. Mostly just talked with my mom and dad.

1st year of marriage: Fighting and storming out of the house saying I was leaving him, and then making it to the car and coming back in because I thought he was looking at porn

Him throwing away a bag of my stuff because he thought it was crap- and I am pretty sure that my Teddy Bear from childhood was in there.

Him throwing me up against the washer/dryer because he was mad at me for something 

Him bringing home a soccer ball and matching shirts to go play in the park for FHE

His brother coming over and cooking us dinner all the time

That is all I really have memory-wise for a year and a half of my life! So honestly, if I had to go and write my story now, it would be really really really hard! Like I would have to sit down and do just that probably for a whole week for me to be able to really be able to remember what happened back then. So I am so glad that I wrote my story when it was still fresh in my mind. I can read it, and it all starts to come back to me.

 I have never told anyone that before, so here is what I want to know: has anyone else had this happen too? It only seems to happen with things related to porn, so I am really curious to see if any other WoPAs have experienced this too.

Much love!