Acceptance

I feel complicated and conflicted about being called a WoPA, I am proud to be associated with such an AMAZING group of women. Seriously, all of the women that I have associated with have inspired me in some way or form to be a little bit better- a little bit closer to the end goal. That being said, it isn't everything about who I am. It is listed along side of a bunch of other things about myself:

I love basketball, making cookies, I dance whenever I can even though my dancing isn't normal, and usually goes along nicely to the beat of the beach boys (my favorite band growing up) My new favorite band is the Killers, especially their new album, I struggle reading scriptures but I love reading conference talks,  I want to be a dentist when I grow up and am bummed that it isn't moving as fast as I like- speaking of, I am also impatient. I value quality over quantity, except when I am broke, then that switches around. I am a mother of an adorable two year old boy, I am a wife of a fiery red head, a WoPA- which is the hardest trial I have ever had in my life. The best and fastest way of self care for me when something comes up with that is to sing VERY loudly in the car on a drive to really anywhere. I love surprises,  birthdays, and holidays. I have a serious face on when I get onto Pinterest, because I don't pin anything without having 100% intentions to do it- and I would say I have done at least 80% of them... I feel obligated to share them on social media, but don't and then feel guilty about it? haha! I have always been terrible at blogging, but I have had a blog ever since I was a freshman in college.  I am usually a very optimistic person, which can be annoying, even to me sometimes. I think it's a gift that God gave me- to be able to see good in all situations. I have never been very good at being hard on myself- I have pretty much always had high self esteem to the point of being cocky (a fault of mine), but I have experienced two years of my life when I understood what it felt like to feel worthless. I hated being pregnant, but I loved labor. I have been trying to teach myself how to knit for a month now, and haven't gotten anywhere, but I am pretty good at crocheting. I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, especially the gift of the sacrament. I struggle with budgeting, and have come a LONG way from where I was before, and working to be better at it every day.

This is me. Being a WoPA is a HUGE part of what made me who I am today, I wouldn't be who I am without it! But it doesn't have to DEFINE me. Something that I read on another blog really hit home to me and I have been thinking about it on and off for the past week or so, I couldn't find where I read it, or I would put a link to it, but another WoPA said that she had a bishop who told her that God didn't give her this trial, her husband did. I also liked a line I heard on a TV show somewhere: "I don't like any labels put on me that I didn't work hard to earn, like Ph D., or MD. " I don't know why, but those two lines really tied themselves together inside of me: I didn't work hard to become a WoPA, I just became one! However, I am working VERY hard to heal from the trauma and pain of Being a WoPA.  See how complicated my feelings are toward those four letters? love/hate. 

Either way, it is a part of who I am now, and I accept that. Acceptance. That's a good word for it.

I accept that I am a WoPA