So This week as I was reading the chapter, I had in mind the fact that I speak in church in the back of my mind. The subject of the talk is goals. I was having a hard time of it until I realized that "Goals" is a pretty broad subject- I didn't have to talk about which goals to set, or how to set them- I could just talk about some of the things that get in the way of accomplishing goals- and Shame, Fear, and Lack of Vulnerability are a few of them of them.
So that's what I was thinking about when I started out this chapter, and the subject of shame resiliency is perfect! There is nothing that can make us freeze up and not achieve goals more than shame.
I love that she comes write out and says that shame is unavoidable. As long as we crave connection, the threat of disconnection- which leads straight to shame- will always be there. But we can gain a resiliency by recognizing shame when we experience it and learn to "move through it in a constructive way that allows us to maintain our authenticity and grown from our experiences." Shame breeds fear, blame, and disconnection- and the only way to conquer shame is with Empathy which breeds courage compassion and connection.
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