Survival Rant

I have got to blow some steam on here, get ready for a rant fest.

To be completely honest, I have totally gone into isolation mode. It takes a lot for me to admit that. I have the flu and so does my son- and we have had it for over a month. It is wearing on me. I know other people are sick of me not being able to do anything because of this illness because I'm sick of giving that out as an excuse! But it's true! I have reached my breaking point. I never have done well at being a sick person- but I get by with help from my over the counter cold medicine- but not even that helps with this illness! And to have a sick baby on top of it? It. Is. Freaking. Hard. I have turned to numbing- throw on some disney for my little coughing guy, and veg. 

And to put some icing on this lovely cake: J woke me up at midnight so that he could admit to me that he acted out- and that it wasn't the first time, he had been acting out for a while and is starting to feel out of control. Ya think? He kept taking about his long hours and how he can't cope with the fact that he never gets to see us- and I didn't know how to tell him that his long hours have been my friend these last few weeks! I can't handle being around him and dealing with trauma and triggers when I have a sick baby and a sick mommy to take care of. I can't take all of it- I'm just one person. I just listened to him and nodded and asked if there was anything else he had been hiding from me- and he unloaded more. Then I went to sleep- woke up at 4:00 to take care of my little guy, went to bed at 5:00, only to be woken up by J's alarm. Eventually I fell back asleep and woke up at 7:15 onthe dot to a very grumpy baby and a pretty grumpy mom. Tomorrow little T is getting tubes in his ears and I pray that helps.  My parents live 5 minutes away, but I don't want their help, because with it comes drama- they are in survival mode themselves. Life is hectic right now. I sure hope this is the tipping point where everything gets better. 

Rant over. Thanks for reading.