Like Brushing my Teeth

Back when we were in Lifestar, I would say these things over and over in my head. This is cure to trauma recovery. I used to chant it in my head as I walked around my house: "Self care and boundaries and bottom lines, Oh My!"

It was so spelled out- so integrated into my life. It helped me So. Much. 

I had a checklist in my mind- and I made sure each one of the little points got checked off before I went to bed each night. At first, I did it out of compliance, and then I saw it actually helping my life. Even though I was just going through the motions in the beginning- because I was going through the RIGHT motions, I was able to slowly heal.

Now that I am starting to physically heal enough to start focusing on healing everything else, I am ready to start going through the RIGHT motions again. And as a list person ( I am a first-born after all), I thought I would try to remember all the things I would check off in my head as I went through the motions that will help move me towards healing.

It was pretty simple:

Self Care.

Boundaries.

Bottom lines.

Self Care was mostly what I focused on during the day.

Self Care consisted of four categories:

Physical.

Spiritual.

Emotional.

Social.

I made sure I did something to build myself in each of those categories- even if it was right before bed, and I realized that I hadn't done one or two of them- I would hurry and do at least something to check it off.

Every time I felt a little uncomfortable, I pulled out my bottom line list and figured out why I was feeling uncomfortable. If it was something addressed on the bottom line list, I made sure and did the thing on my boundary list that was associated with it- if it wasn't addressed, I took time to figure out what was making me feel uncomfortable, and create a bottom line to help me feel safe and keep it from going past the uncomfortable stage into trauma response.

Boundaries were at least glanced at every single night before going to bed. 

These were the habits I was in during the healthiest time of my life- Even before meeting J. I wish I had those habits, I think it would have helped me to not be so co-dependent once I had met him.

These are the things that I can commit to doing right now. I am going to add one category to my self-care list, though, and that is intellectual. I want to build my mind. (and I think it will help me to do well in my online classes again.)

It's just like brushing my teeth- it stops the trauma from building up. It makes me stronger day by day- even though it might not be fun at first- it FEELS so good once I have done it.

Baby steps.