I think one of the things that it is so easy to lose track of is the fact that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me. Sometimes I forget that the whole reason why I am here is because I want to be just like him when I "grow up." I forget that I am here so that I may become like him (and my heavenly mother), and I can. I am a Goddess in Training. Right now, training sucks. There's no way around that fact, though, and this is the obstacle that I need to overcome in order to help me become the best I can.
I caught J browsing around on my phone, which doesn't have a lock on it and hasn't been a problem up until now. I can't even begin to tell you how violating that felt- I don't know why, but I guess it was just the fact that he was using my phone to get his fix. Before that, he had spent a lot of time explaining to me that he never lusted after me or my body. I guess he got kind of hung up on the bottom line that I set. So, finally, he convinced me that I was his "quirky, cute, fun, beautiful wife... and that he just laughs when I think I'm being sexy," (because lets be honest, we both know that it's totally awkward, and I am 100% totally okay with that) Anyway, after he finally convinced me that I was in no danger in being lusted after, he proceeds to go and use my phone to find someone to lust after. Man! Talk about making a girl feel like she's not enough.
And so I go to my knees for the millionth time, and I ask God what I am supposed to learn from all of this heartbreak, and you know what he tells me? That I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love him. That I promised that I will stand as a witness for him at all times, and in all things, and in all places, as I strive to live certain values which are Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, and Integrity. He reminds me that I BELIEVE that as I come to accept and live these values that I will BE PREPARED to strengthen my broken home and family, to keep the sacred covenants I made in the temple and finally I will be prepared to ENJOY the blessing of exaltation.
Que the water works.
Just in case you didn't know, that was the young women theme, slightly modified to fit where I am personally in life- and it STILL applies! This dang addiction/ co-dependancy wants me to forget one or more of the values that I believe in and strive to live daily. I think that it is very fitting that there are two very similar values listed: Divine Nature and Individual Worth- Two qualities that go hand in hand and that women everywhere forget on almost a daily basis.
So, Fellow Goddesses in Training... I am going to tell you what I am going to do (Get ready, it's big): I am going to work my personal progress book again! I need it, and that's what it is there for, I mean it's right there on my phone waiting for me to realize that I am in desperate need of some hardcore training! Think about it, It was designed for women who are going through a rough time in their lives (no one can say that the teenage years were easy) so that they can come out on top! So I'm going to be doing them as part of my dailies/self-care and report back to you how it is going! Hey, and feel free to join me, and let me know how it's going! I would love to hear! :) I pray for you (both wives and addicts) every day and every night.
P.S. You probably noticed that I changed my page a bit. I didn't like the title "memoirs of the noble... I don't feel noble yet, and felt hypocritical every time I read it. I chose Memoirs of a Goddess in Training to remind me of life's purpose, and to remind me that life is but a short moment, just like training usually is, but that if you endure to the end, you always come out on top. I chose Goddess as the type of training because it reminds me of my divine potential. Mmm Mmm, I love this blog! I always leave feeling so much better than when I came :)
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