First time

The first time I found out that my husband had a pornography addiction, it felt like a bucket of cold ice was just pored over me. I finally understood the meaning of the saying "your world is shattered." I remember thinking "Other people are addicted to pornography, no one I know... Other people." The truth is that most likely almost every single male that I have ever met, dated, hung out with, has most likely had at least some level of an addiction to pornography. It's just such a secretive addiction that they must have been ashamed to admit it. I have looked back at so many relationships that I am now sure didn't work out because of this addiction. I was so confused at the time- the question "what went wrong?" was stuck on repeat in my mind. But looking back, and after having the experiences that I have had, I want to bump that younger me over the head, because it's so obvious now! God knew this, and so he put into my life a man who was straight forward with me enough to let me know from the beginning that this was a struggle of his. I know that this may not be the case for all of us- some of us don't even find out until we are married, and that comes as the shock of a lifetime. What I must take out of all of all of it is this: God knew. God had a plan for me, and this is one of the struggles that he knows that I can grow from. He intends for me to come out on top! I know this. And this is because I am a child of God who came to this earth to experience trials so that I can be refined over and over, until I am like him. He loves me! He suffers when I suffer, and he is waiting for me to actually take those first steps to put this burden entirely on him. I work hard every day to let him guide me through his spirit. He will show me what to do. He will help me to become a goddess- because that's what I am: A Goddess in training.